Who Am I as a Communicator?

        The first most surprising result of the communication evaluations that I took and compared with others' assessments of me came from my brother's evaluation of my level of verbal aggression, "Significant", far above scores from two other evaluators. When he saw the description of the score he earned for me, he became concerned that the assessment was too harsh. Together we reconstructed the test and answers, and he explained his reason for each one, still scoring in the "Significant" range. He then took the test to evaluate his own verbal aggression level, and scored also in the "Significant" range. He believed that the answers he gave did not add up to the description of a significantly aggressive verbal communication style. That his was the only score difference among the evaluators was the first part of the surprise, but that he evaluated himself in the same range as how he evaluated me also caused me to take a closer look at why such a disparity had occurred. I project that the difference in score came from two schemas that were not possessed by the other evaluators; He is a male, and he is a self-employed businessman. I had considered that perhaps I change my communication style to match his when we converse or debate issues, but I believe that the results came from his perception of my verbal style based on his experiences with me as a colleague in business, his business partner schema. The other participants were younger females in non-business roles, and evaluated me almost exactly the same as my personal assessment. Because my current colleagues are mostly younger females in non-business roles, I am unconcerned with being perceived as verbally aggressive. If I return to a business career, or if I have the opportunity to communicate with early childhood education funders who are business people, I may possess an adequately aggressive style to be noticed and heard by men who may perceive aggression in communication with a different schematic lens.

Communicating and Collaborating

Just as a skilled child care provider will change body position to meet the eye level of a child, and adjusts tone of voice and vocabulary to match what the child understands, so do I adjust my communications with different individuals or groups. This is what other-mindedness is all about, learning what the communication needs of the other person are, and meeting them to better understand and to be better understood. And because all individuals have their own cultural identities, I believe that the most important and the most challenging communication strategy for me to use is to be non-judgemental. Asking questions to clarify my communication partners' intentions will help me to better understand their ideas, and remaining neutral, or non-judgemental, will help me to stay in the conversation without getting lost in my own emotions that could become stirred by what I have heard. I believe that most are skilled at talking about themselves. When I can give another person the opportunity to talk about one's self, I am building a relationship of trust, and the other person reveals more as the communication continues. This is so easily observed with young children. Sit at the lunch table with four year olds and ask them about their lunch or their favorite foods. Soon they will be telling you everything. The topic that people know the most about is themselves, and children will talk about what they know best. After talking and listening during lunch to a child with challenging behavior, I have learned that the child's father has been released from jail and is back at home. Now my communication with this child's parents is not so much about changing the child, but about support for some stressful conditions at home. To communicate more effectively with each culturally different person I encounter, I would like to

• remain non-judgemental
• ask questions to clarify the person's viewpoints, and
• encourage the other person to talk about his or her ideas and experiences, and talk less about my own.

Communiction on TV

Observing the Nickelodeon television show, Digrassi, without sound, non-verbal behavior seemed mostly easy to read. There are several sub-plots on this show about social problems that high school teens encounter and how they solve them. In this episode, a boy was shrink-wrapped, presumably naked, to the school flagpole. As a group of boys were addressed individually by adults in the gym, the perpetrator looked guilty with his face looking to the floor, and speaking to the adults with his head in a low position.  The two male adults seemed bothered by the woman adult who questioned the guilty boy close to him. She smiled as she spoke, but the other adults had perplexed looks on their faces.She left the gym quickly.Without words, she may have been the principal making threats. The spoken lines revealed that she was the bullied child's mother making threats to find out who had hazed her son. Later, when the two boys spoke in the hall, they were physically close, face to face, with serious expressions.The hazed boy put his finger on the chest of the aggressor. They looked directly at each other. The spoken lines revealed a plan for revenge by the hazing victim. In another social dilemma between two girls, the leader of a dance group was challenged by a girl set on showing her up. Both of these girls smiled at each other while speaking. Without sound, they might have been friends in disagreement. The challenger used rapidly changing facial expressions, from smiling to haughty. Both girls communicated at a physical distance. With sound, one girl smiled as she spoke in a conciliatory manner, The challenger spoke insults through her smile.
It was easy to identify the roles of the boys and men during the soundless viewing. The close physical proximity to each other and facial expressions were clear indicators of what they communicated to each other. The girls and women, however, were not so easily read. Smiling is usually an indicator of positive feeling and intentions, yet in the spoken viewing, challenges and insults were communicated through smiles. In contrast to the boys in conflict, the girls were physically positioned as if they stood on either side of an invisible line.
Perhaps these television programs are reinforcing the widely accepted belief that female communication is complicated and is not always as it seems. In addition, they provide a model for young girls, soon to enter adulthood, for communication that is deceitful, as these girls smiled though they were angry and competitive. This viewing affirms my disdain for television, and supports my parenting restrictions on television viewing for my children and grandchildren over the past 25 years.

What is Communication?

    

 A few years ago, Yale University researchers published a report that exposed a shocking number of children expelled from preschool (Gilliam, 2005). I witnessed a spontaneous, bring-down-the-house speech at a local press conference that featured the grant project for which I work. Our agency had invited a few parents and child care center directors to attest to the success of our tax-based grant at retaining children with special and behavioral needs in their preschool programs, contrary to the Yale report. Our child care center director arrived just as the interviews were beginning, and was surprised to learn that she was not a guest, but a guest speaker, and was escorted to her seat behind the table set with microphones. After a series of rather boring speakers, the child care center director rose from her seat, moved out from behind the table, and addressed the cameras and audience in a calm, clearly projected voice. Her hands were clasped in front of her, and she made eye contact around the room, unlike the agency higher-ups who stuttered reading through their notes. She used a slow, evenly paced voice to announce what she would talk about, gave some facts and experiences, and briefly re-stated what she had just presented. I was stunned to hear and see such a smooth impromptu peformance after witnessing a series of CEO's stumble through dry data that they had prepared for the occasion. Joan the Director exuded confidence, used concise, effective speech, spoke slowly enough to be heard, made eye contact with her audience, and smiled slightly while she spoke. She was persuasive in defending the value of the program. The manner in which she communicated her testimony was far more convincing than higher management who did not use these speech techniques. Public speaking is only one form of communication, but the goal is the same for public or personal, that the speaker be heard and understood by the listener(s). Joan the Director attributed her communication skills to practice with a group called Toastmasters.

More can be learned about public speaking and general communication skills at http://www.toastmasters.org .
References:
Gilliam, W.S. (2005). Prekindergarteners left behind:Expulsion rates in state prekindergarten programs. Retrieved from http://childstudycenter.yale.edu/zigler/publications/34775_National%20Prek%20Study_expulsion%20brief.pdf

Professional Hopes and Goals

When I examine the topic of meeting diverse cultural needs in early childhood, I often compare current topics with historical issues of my parents' early childhoods as first generation Americans from Poland in the early 1930's. They recalled little of cultural barriers except that they spoke only Polish until they entered kindergarten, where they learned English. They never referred to this time as stressful, though it is quite possible that the stress they experienced in their early childhoods suppressed the memory of such. I do know that their large families provided a formidable support for them. As I work with today's children in a culturally diverse community, I am hoping that our progress in diversity studies combined with brain research discoveries equip early childhood workers, whether child care providers or preschool and elementary school teachers, to provide more support for children's development and family well being than was offered to my parents.
A goal that I would like for early childhood professionals to work towards is not only treating children and families respectfully, but to develop specific curriculum activities to equip children to prepare for and deal with anti-diversity behaviors aimed at them or someone they know. Gloria Boutte (2008) called us "naive" to believe that all we need is respect, a place where I was before this course. It is clear that as teachers and people of primary influence, we owe it to the children and families we serve to give them tools to manage the unpleasant realities of prejudice and unequal access.
Finally, I wish to thank my colleagues for the truly frank discussions about the topics of personal and institutional discrimination and microaggressions. These are painful topics to voice, but necessary for problem solving. Thank you for your professionalism in your candor.

References:
Boutte, G., (2008). Beyond the illusion of diversity: How early childhood teachers can promote social justice.Social Studies, 99(4), 165-173.

Welcoming Families from Around the World

I frequently visit Head Start programs that begin each year with new immigrant families from a variety of countries. Sometimes there is not a staff who speaks the native language that can give assistance to the staff and comfort to three years olds separated from their parents in a strange place. In the case of the children who were enrolled in the program who were from Viet Nam, a country that none of the staff were familiar with, the pre-enrollment meeting took place at the Head Start office. I might have added a few strategies to help everyone feel more comfortable, both family, child, and staff.

Home visits as parent education are typical in Head Start, however, in the the case of children from Viet Nam, I might make sure that the enrollment took place at the child's home, and with an interpreter. There are local cultural centers for most immigrant groups that could offer such a service for a new family. The children could meet the teacher on their own terms, and the teacher could gather insightful information about the child's most influential environment:

• How many people share the home, and what relationship do they have?
• Who is the power in the family, mother, father, or a grandparent?
• Do the children have responsibilities, and what are they?
• How does communication among adults and children occur?
• Do the children speak when they wish, or are they silent among adults?
• Are there toys in the house and of what kind?
• Is the family connected with a cultural support community?
• Is religious behavior practiced, and how?
• Does the family take photos? Can the school use photos? Are there photos that the child can bring to school and share? Can the teacher take photos of the children and display them in the classroom?
• Are there developmental special needs?

Broffenbrenner's bioecological model of child development indicates that the child's first and most influential is home and family (Keenan, 2009), and knowing how the family operates each day will be crucial in constructing supportive interactions in the classroom. This visit is meant to discover the deep cultural factors (Derman -Sparks & Edwards, 2010)  that influence the child.

Before the new children begin, I would announce to the class their arrival and when, and discuss with children how they can welcome the children. There is a DVD that is available to educators made by Candid Camera called The Green Kid (2003) that records the responses of young children of  the question, "What can you do to welcome this (green) child?" The answers they give brought tears to my eyes. We often forget that children are competent to come up with real and powerful solutions to their everyday challenges.

In addition to the home visit strategy, all of the children should have regular activities that share family structure, values, and activities, as well as the more topical cultural artifacts of foods, music, and clothing. The new child from Viet Nam may begin to bring in items from home to show to others, and to demonstrate their likenesses and differences.

Because so much cultural development occurs through language (Derman-Sparks, Edwards, 2010), making the language of the Vietnamese children visible in some way in the classroom will  create community in the class, reducing stress that can hinder learning. Consulting with parents during the home visit, or using library materials to learn a few words in the home language will be on-going.

Most child care and Head Start programs are required to have an open door policy for parents, but not all fulfill the requirement with relish. I would invite the child's parents to attend, interact, share when able, or just observe. Their presence to other children make Vietnamese people regular particpants in the program.

• Home visit
• Ask the children
• Plan specific classroom activities that share family culture
• Learn some Vietnamese words, and display them
• Invite families to visit the classroom

All of these efforts would be made for any child entering the program, whenever possible. A child develops in an environment of relationships (NCCDC, 2004 ), and establishing relationships, probably the most difficult task in all of life, is the most effective way to prepare these Vietnamese children, and all children for success.

References:
Candid Camera. (2003) The Green Kid Tolerance Project. Retrieved from http://www.candidcamera.com/cc6/green_kids.html

Derman-Sparks, L., &  Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).


Keenan, T., & Evans, S. (2009). Theories of development. In An introduction to child development. (pp.35-43). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. (2004) Young children develop in an environment of relationships. Working Paper No. 1. Retrieved from http://www.developingchild.net

Much of my work with child care providers who care for children with special needs gives me experience with able-ism. Many child care programs simply do not enroll children with special needs because of the perceived added expense of adequately meeting those needs. Some programs just don't know any better. I was aghast to learn from the Pastor of the church that I attend, where there is also a child care program, that the Child Care Director turned a child away from the center whose parents were new members to the church. He told me that because the child used a wheel chair, he was not able to descend to the lower level where his preschool class would be, as the building was not equipped with an elevator. They turned him away without consulting with the resident inclusion expert, me. He lamented the potential loss of worshippers, and I lamented the injustice done to that child who should have been included in our program, and the heartbreak it must have caused his parents. Quite easily, and with no added expense except effort and about two hours of paid moving time, the preschool class from downstairs could have been switched with the school age classroom on the main floor. The preschool children could have been served on the main floor, where a wheelchair could enter. My church administration did not think to make such a simple modification, or even call for advice, and the child was turned away.  It was not intentional able-ism, but the lack of effort was inexcusable. I was angry with the Child Care Director, whom I held responsible for discrimination, and disappointed with the Pastor who did not make more of an effort to understand and include this child and family. I hurt for the family. All of the adults in the church administration, as well as the child care staff, needed to re-evaluate their enrollment practices for institutional discrimination against people with disabilities. I am relieved to report, however, that our Sunday School leaders accept all who attend, and we have more than one child whose behavior is a result of autism. They may not always have answers, but they welcome all Sunday School kids and do their best to make a loving community for an hour or two each week. I am also happy to report that we have hired a new Child Care Director.