Just as a skilled child care provider will change body position to meet the eye level of a child, and adjusts tone of voice and vocabulary to match what the child understands, so do I adjust my communications with different individuals or groups. This is what other-mindedness is all about, learning what the communication needs of the other person are, and meeting them to better understand and to be better understood. And because all individuals have their own cultural identities, I believe that the most important and the most challenging communication strategy for me to use is to be non-judgemental. Asking questions to clarify my communication partners' intentions will help me to better understand their ideas, and remaining neutral, or non-judgemental, will help me to stay in the conversation without getting lost in my own emotions that could become stirred by what I have heard. I believe that most are skilled at talking about themselves. When I can give another person the opportunity to talk about one's self, I am building a relationship of trust, and the other person reveals more as the communication continues. This is so easily observed with young children. Sit at the lunch table with four year olds and ask them about their lunch or their favorite foods. Soon they will be telling you everything. The topic that people know the most about is themselves, and children will talk about what they know best. After talking and listening during lunch to a child with challenging behavior, I have learned that the child's father has been released from jail and is back at home. Now my communication with this child's parents is not so much about changing the child, but about support for some stressful conditions at home. To communicate more effectively with each culturally different person I encounter, I would like to
- remain non-judgemental
- ask questions to clarify the person's viewpoints, and
- encourage the other person to talk about his or her ideas and experiences, and talk less about my own.
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