I have recently experienced yet another communication conflict with a sibling, the same sibling. Her initial attack was not focused at me, but towards a brother in the audience of the rest of us, via e-mail, the great impersonal channel. The root of the conflict was money. Surprised? The conflict between us was triggered by a combination of unbalanced costs and rewards and incompatible life goals in that money is not as important as strong and loyal sibling relationships. Through brief e-mails, we tried to discuss options and alternatives and also to debate and argue the merits of both sides of the disagreement. A plea for her to consider the outcomes of her actions and communications affecting her and the others was met with verbal combativeness. I, and I believe the other four siblings, have resorted to separation from her until such time as she can become more other-minded in her behavior and communications. I have evaluated this outcome to be lose-lose. No one wins from family estrangement. Perhaps the time of separation will allow healing enough to repair the family relationships. This is the most appealing non-violent strategy that I have been able to comfortably use in such an emotion-filled conflict.
1 comment:
I think that e-mail can sometimes inhibit true communication-especially in emotionally charged issues. Without any voice or bodily cues it can be very easy to misunderstand another's meaning. I would suggest, at least, a phone conversation -or a face to face conversation would be even better. Sometimes all a person really wants is to know that they are heard and understood.
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