Over the Thanksgiving holiday drive to and from Chicago, and during dinners and down-time with family and others, I put the question of the week to a few: "What stressors did we experience as kids?" and "How did we manage it?" From siblings, I heard more than I could come up with alone. Getting good grades put a lot of stress on my brothers, because there would be lots of yelling and privileges lost if the grades were poor. Not having a wardrobe that wasn't entirely out-of-style hand-me-downs was all that I could conjure up. Not that our childhoods weren't without many unpleasant memories, just that there was no long-term chronic pressure that caused any of us to grow into less-than-equipped adults. I am quite sure that my parents felt the weight of pressure applied by the leadership of the Catholic Church not to practice birth control, resulting in a family that was larger than a man's salary could support. (But thank God for it, or we wouldn't be here!) My father worked two jobs most of my life, because one job didn't cover everything that six children and two adults needed. His career job was Police Officer in a dangerous city on a small salary; pretty stressful. My mom was a full time parent of six children; very isolating and demanding at the same time. Now they felt stress, but the children never really felt it. We lacked nothing, even if we didn't think so. My parents developed strategies that kept us well, safe, educated, and independent when adulthood came. They were hard-working tight-wads, and they did well for themselves and us even after they died, and so they were successful parents. The Thanksgiving conversation included my sister-in-law, who recalled her childhood in Mexico as the tenth of eleven children. She recalled the stress of widespread alcoholism, and blamed the common Mexican practice of youth consumption, and the customary machismo attached with drinking the vile stuff. More sad stories of how alcohol abuse split families and took lives of loved ones followed. I looked up some information about Mexico's early childhood difficulties.
Mexico's children have an overall lack of access to education of any quality, which perpetuates the cycle of poverty. Poverty is a "Which came first?" problem that includes poor nutrition, home and community environments that are void of cognitive stimulation, child abuse, gang activity, drug related social problems, and teen pregnancy. Poor educational quality in the matter of undereducated teachers contributes to the lack of preparation of children for entry into the work world, keeping them hostages of poverty. (Zurlo, 2006). Children born into this cycle seldom escape, because they cannot get one of the very few good jobs that will propel them to a better life. Advocates for Mexican children are appealing to the U.S. for help as a way to stem the flow of illegal immigrants into the border states. This Win-Win strategy is the most likely to succeed in improving education first, and then the very existence of children and families in Mexico.
You see, me and most of my sisters and brothers now know that we did not suffer under these stressors as children. What we may have called " childhood stress" is really childish misconception. We were the lucky ones.
More information about the plight of undereducated children can be read in the sources listed below.
http://www.alasthemovement.org
Zurlo, Luanne. (2006, January 20). Addressing a Root Cause of Mexican Migration Pressures to the U.S. The Link Between Education and Immigration. Retrieved from http://www.worldfund.org
2 comments:
Mary,
I enjoyed reading your post. Your parents sound like wonderful people and you are very lucky for that! (Although, you already know that!) :) I am saddened to read about the pitiful conditions that the children in Mexico must live in. Those of us in the US seem to all have minor childhood stress compared to those in impoverished countries. Your post really helps me see that we are all so blessed here in the United States; with the exception of few, of course. Take care!
Thank you. I do see many children (in the US)that have stress inposed upon them by neglect or abuse. So many parents are not able or willing to give the attention a child must have, and their children's problems snowball into adulthood. Perhaps there was more of a social expectation in my parents' day that the children's needs and rights come before the parents'.
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